Introduction
BRIDGE TO ANOTHER WORLD: CHRISTMAS FLIGHT – WHERE SANTA’S SLED IS A TAXI AND YOUR Nephew IS A MYSTERY BOX
(Free trial! Then u gotta pay $5 to “unlock” the North Pole u already saw in Coca-Cola ads. No cap.)
TL;DR (BECAUSE U’RE TOO BUSY OPENING GIFTS)
Play as Karen’s cousin who gets kidnapped to Xmas Town, now ruled by a Grinch with WiFi issues. Team up with elves who hate their job, solve puzzles harder than assembling IKEA furniture, and save Christmas by… buying more stuff. Spoiler: The real villain is your in-laws.
WHY PLAY? (SPOILER: U WON’T)
- “Unique” Story: You’re kidnapped on Christmas Eve by a dude dressed as Santa’s accountant. “Did he ghost me or just hate joy?”
- Puzzle Hell: Find hidden objects so obvious, they’re hidden in Santa’s beard. “Is this a candy cane or a cry for help?”
- Elf Logic: Battle Grinches who complain about “minimum wage” while stealing your presents. “Happy holidays, indeed!”
FEATURES (OR LIES THEY SOLD U)
1. “Epic” Plot Twist
- Play as Linda, a Karen-level adventurer who’s never heard of “Naughty or Nice.” “I’ll just Google ‘how to save Christmas’!”
- Collectibles galore! Assemble a “magic snow globe” that’s just a reskin of a snow globe from Walmart. “Worth every second!”
2. “Challenging” Mini-Games
- Solve puzzles that require more luck than brains. “If I click this mistletoe 100x, will it summon Rudolph?”
- Stealth sections where u hide behind a gingerbread house while the Grinch naps. “Thrilling!”
3. “Rewards” That Suck
- Bonus chapter: Save Christmas by… playing Candy Crush. “Mind-blowing!”
- Unlock a “magic” scarf that does nothing but itch. “Peasant tier!”
WHY IT’S A SINKING SHIP (BUT U’LL STILL PLAY)
- No Paywall? Lie. Hints cost $5. “Just grind for 10hrs instead! We’ll wait.”
- Glitches Galore: The Grinch’s AI naps 90% of the time. “I’ll screenshot this for TikTok!”
- Logic? Nah: The magic snow globe is hidden under the game’s loading screen. “Plot armor beats science!”
HOW TO LOSE HOURS (AND SANITY)
- Farm Candy Canes: Collect 50 candy canes to unlock a “secret” achievement. “But first, insulin!”
- Overthink Clues: Stare at a mistletoe for 20 mins wondering if it’s a metaphor for ur toxic relationship.
- Buy the “Full Game”: Already did? Too bad! The “full” game is just more elves and jingle bells.
DOWNLOAD NOW!
(But don’t blame us when ur life becomes a grindy loop of Christmas carols, caffeine crashes, and buyer’s remorse.)
DEV NOTES:
- Made by interns who hate Christmas.
- Art stolen from a 2018 Hallmark movie. “We added glitter! It’s ‘festive’!”
- Testing team quit after Week 1. “We’re not paid enough to fight Grinches.”
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