Introduction
RITE OF PASSAGE: BLUFF – WHERE FINDING YOUR HUSBAND IS EASIER THAN FINDING YOUR SOCKS
(Free trial! Then u gotta pay $5 to “unlock” the cliff u already saw for free. No cap.)
TL;DR (BECAUSE U CAN’T BE BOTHERED)
Play as a desperate wife who follows her hubs to a ghost town, only to realize he’s probably just fixing his Honda. Fight “spooky” Uber drivers and solve puzzles harder than your ex’s excuses. Spoiler: The real villain is your life choices.
WHY PLAY? (SPOILER: U WON’T)
- “Unique” Story: Your hubby vanishes in a town where everyone’s either a liar or a terrible Uber driver. “Did he ghost me or get abducted by clowns?”
- Puzzle Hell: Find hidden objects so obvious, they’re hidden in plain sight (like that coffee mug u didn’t notice). “Is this a clue or a cry for help?”
- Ghost Logic: Battle specters that scream “GET OUT!” but are just mad their Yelp reviews suck.
FEATURES (OR LIES THEY SOLD U)
1. “Epic” Plot Twist
- Play as Linda, a Karen-level detective who’s never seen a true crime doc. “I’ll just Google ‘how to find a husband’!”
- Collectibles galore! Assemble a “magic amulet” that’s just a reskin of a paperclip. “Worth every second!”
2. “Challenging” Mini-Games
- Solve puzzles that require more luck than brains. “If I click this rock 100x, will it summon the hubby?”
- Stealth sections where u hide behind a cactus while the town’s Uber driver naps. “Thrilling!”
3. “Rewards” That Suck
- Bonus chapter: Save the hubby by… playing Candy Crush. “Mind-blowing!”
- Unlock a “magic” flashlight that does nothing but blind urself. “Peasant tier!”
WHY IT’S A SINKING SHIP (BUT U’LL STILL PLAY)
- No Paywall? Lie. Hints cost $5. “Just grind for 10hrs instead! We’ll wait.”
- Glitches Galore: The ghost AI naps 90% of the time. “I’ll screenshot this for TikTok!”
- Logic? Nah: The magic amulet is hidden under the game’s loading screen. “Plot armor beats science!”
HOW TO LOSE HOURS (AND SANITY)
- Farm Rocks: Collect 50 stones to unlock a “secret” achievement. “But first, coffee!”
- Overthink Clues: Stare at a ghost’s frown for 20 mins wondering if it’s a metaphor for ur dating life.
- Buy the “Full Game”: Already did? Too bad! The “full” game is just more rocks and riddles.
DOWNLOAD NOW!
(But don’t blame us when ur life becomes a grindy loop of ghost towns, caffeine crashes, and buyer’s remorse.)
DEV NOTES:
- Made by interns who hate relationships.
- Art stolen from a 2015 PowerPoint. “We added glitter! It’s ‘spooky’!”
- Testing team quit after Week 1. “We’re not paid enough to fight Uber drivers.”
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