Introduction
WEREWOLF GAMES: BIGFOOT MONSTER HUNTING IN FOREST
Step into a "thrilling" forest (it’s just a blurry green screen) to hunt "terrifying" monsters (they’re pixelated blobs).
Become a "brave" hunter (read: a guy with a stick) tracking mythical beasts in a "medieval" town (it’s a single dirt road). Villagers “disappear” (they just respawn behind trees) and “mutate” into zombies (slow-moving Shmup enemies). Your mission? Press a button to swing your sword (or maybe it’s a spatula—controls aren’t clear) and yell “Victory Royale!” when you “defeat” a werewolf (he falls over like a sack of potatoes).
FEATURES
✔️ "Realistic 3D Graphics" (they’re 1998-era PS1 sprites with a fog filter)
✔️ "Dynamic Combat System" (mash one button to swing, another to block—no skill required)
✔️ "Epic Boss Fights" (slender man just stands there while you shoot arrows at his toe)
✔️ "Immersive Storyline" (villagers’ dialogue: “Help us!” “Thanks, we’ll do nothing.”)
HOW TO PLAY:
- Walk into the forest (aka tap the screen).
- Find a monster (it’s standing still under a tree).
- Press “Attack” (repeat until it dies).
- Celebrate victory (the game crashes, but who cares?).
EXTRA BOREDOM:
- Play as “Victor,” a “professional” hunter who screams “I’M THE KING OF MONSTERS!” (he’s just a guy in sweatpants).
- Fight “bigfoot” (a Yeti sprite from 2003) in “intense” jungle battles (he just walks left and right).
- Unlock “special weapons” (a frying pan that does 0.5 damage).
WARNING: May cause severe boredom, eye strain from squinting at low-res textures, or existential crises when you realize this game was made in 2018 but feels like 1995.
