Introduction
UNO!™ Mobile: Your Family's Digital Therapy Bill
Throw the paper cards, our childhood trauma into an app! This ain't your mom's UNO, it's a glitchy serotonin dispenser that'll make Thanksgiving arguments look like tea parties.
Modes:
Nuclear Family Protocol
2v2 mode
New "Divorce Draft" rule: Steal WiFi to sabotage dad's reverse cards
Secret combo: Stack +4 → unlocks therapist DLC
Voice now auto-translates "UNO!" to:
• "I slept with your Tamagotchi" (for exes)
• "Your casserole sucks" (for aunt Karen)
• "I'm telling mom" (default sibling setting)
Trauma Bonding Kit
▷ Meme Deck Expansion:
Shrek-themed cards that violate Geneva Convention
"Area 51" wildcards summon UFOs to steal opponents' draws
"Boomer Pack" replaces numbers with mortgage complaints
▷ Psychological Operations:
"Friendly Reminder" push notifications:
"Jenny just played Draw 25... at YOUR wedding"
"Dad's WiFi disconnected... he's faking again"
Street Rules (Not Legal Advice)
• Shake phone to reverse time (and childhood regrets)
• Scream "UNO" IRL to unlock Illuminati color theory
• Draw 25 cards → auto-dials your middle school bully
Download Includes
[✔️] Free family group chat mute button
[✔️] Secret "COFFEEDEMON" code for devs' caffeine addiction logs
[✔️] Digital will template (for when mom sees your chat history)
*Warning: 89% of "friendly matches" end with TV remote thrown
iOS disclaimer: Our Android dev thinks Swift is a Taylor song
Throw the paper cards, our childhood trauma into an app! This ain't your mom's UNO, it's a glitchy serotonin dispenser that'll make Thanksgiving arguments look like tea parties.
Modes:
Nuclear Family Protocol
2v2 mode
New "Divorce Draft" rule: Steal WiFi to sabotage dad's reverse cards
Secret combo: Stack +4 → unlocks therapist DLC
Voice now auto-translates "UNO!" to:
• "I slept with your Tamagotchi" (for exes)
• "Your casserole sucks" (for aunt Karen)
• "I'm telling mom" (default sibling setting)
Trauma Bonding Kit
▷ Meme Deck Expansion:
Shrek-themed cards that violate Geneva Convention
"Area 51" wildcards summon UFOs to steal opponents' draws
"Boomer Pack" replaces numbers with mortgage complaints
▷ Psychological Operations:
"Friendly Reminder" push notifications:
"Jenny just played Draw 25... at YOUR wedding"
"Dad's WiFi disconnected... he's faking again"
Street Rules (Not Legal Advice)
• Shake phone to reverse time (and childhood regrets)
• Scream "UNO" IRL to unlock Illuminati color theory
• Draw 25 cards → auto-dials your middle school bully
Download Includes
[✔️] Free family group chat mute button
[✔️] Secret "COFFEEDEMON" code for devs' caffeine addiction logs
[✔️] Digital will template (for when mom sees your chat history)
*Warning: 89% of "friendly matches" end with TV remote thrown
iOS disclaimer: Our Android dev thinks Swift is a Taylor song
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